Samantha Wilson

Social Networking for Pedophiles

Last fall, I was busy attending schools presenting Internet Safety seminars for both kids and
parents, and the # 1 concern was without a doubt, Social Networking (most popular are Facebook,
MySpace,YouTube, Second Life).

We all know that Social Networking sites are designed to connect friends with friends and share information. Whether they are face-to-face friends or online friends, is another article. But what many parents do not realize is that criminals use social networking to connect with other criminals to learn how to be better bad guys.

Make sense?

Before the Internet, criminals were geographically challenged. They could only "connect" with other likeminded criminals in their own town. From there they could learn from each other.

Now, with the Internet, criminals - in particular pedophiles - can connect with other pedophiles for support and advice through social networking and build online communities.

Yes, that’s right. With a few easy key words plunked into Google, and the click of a mouse, anyone can find a number of pedophile sites, blogs, podcasts, and message boards that promote abusing children.

These sites seek to “educate” us non-believers, by explaining *their* definition of pedophilia to gain social acceptance. But instead, these sites actually foster a global community of pedophiles.

The perceived anonymity of the Internet attracts otherwise closet pedophiles, and connects them with other likeminded people. Through their chatting, they gain a sense of legitimacy, a place to express and develop their fantasies, and ban together to help expose police undercover operations. That is all bad.

Here’s what makes them tick. Pedophiles share a number of common behaviors but one common thread, is that they truly believe that children can consensually enter into a sexual and loving relationship with an adult.

They believe that there are two kinds of pedophiles, the ones that seek out children to satisfy themselves (bad ones), and then the “loving” ones that enter into sexual relationships with kids that they love (good ones).

This “love” is equal to a regular adult sexual / partner relationship.

What it really is, is an abuser and a child victim, who often has been groomed into participating in the activities. It is not by consent, it is sexual abuse of children, both morally, socially and illegally wrong.

Ah…the Internet. With all the potential good it has, why is it constantly used for the wrong reasons?

Cyberbullying: The Bully Beyond the School Yard

Bullying is an important issue for everyone.  Recently, cases have hit the headlines where parents are horrified to learn how some children are tormented by their peers.  Bullying is a serious problem, with real dangers. 

But remember bullying is not necessarily contained in the school yard or the street.  Many children report being bullied in their own homes via the Internet.  Instant messaging and email is quickly becoming the preferred choice of communication for teens.  The bully is no exception. 

The Internet can be used as an additional weapon for a cyberbully to continue to harass and threaten victims. A child may receive instant messages or emails that reinforce the threats of violence made by the cyberbully. Furthermore, when a victim can be contacted in the privacy of their own home, there is nowhere they feel safe.

Parents have to keep up to date with what their kids are doing online.  Check often who they are chatting with and who is on their preferred list of friends.  Change their email address if necessary. 

If you suspect that your child is being harassed or bullied online, take action immediately.  Just because it is not face-to-face contact does not diminish the threat.  Save all messages that you find questionable.  If you suspect that a criminal offence has occurred, contact the police.  An email can be the evidence you have been waiting for. 

Visit Kidproof for more on keeping kids safe online and cyberbullying.

Internet Addiction: Is Your Teen at Risk?

Internet addiction is a phenomenon that is still under review of the watchful eyes of healthcare professionals around the globe.  But if you are a parent of a teen who spends countless hours online, it may be time to consider whether their Internet use is turning into an addiction. 

Regardless of what the medical practitioners agree to disagree on, as a parent you need to understand that overuse and misuse of the computer and Internet can cause negative effects to your child’s mental and physical health.  Not only can overuse cause serious physical and mental side effects, a child who spends unlimited amounts of time online in chat rooms, message boards or on multi-user games is at a higher risk of contact by predators.

How Much is Too Much? Signs of Internet Addiction

It is difficult to determine how much time is acceptable for your child to be online and when to draw the line.  As in any form of entertainment, parents need to set limits to Internet use, much the same as with watching TV.   

If you find that your child is spending too much time playing online games, chatting or surfing the net, you will need to intervene quickly.  It won’t be easy, however, try to identify what it is that is attracting your child to the net.  If it is social acceptance, look for outside clubs or organizations with similar interests that they can join. If it is gaming, set limits to the time spent on these games.  Lead by example.  If they see you online for hours at a time, they will do the same.

Here are some tips you may consider:

• Do not ban Internet use entirely.  Instead, set clear, reasonable rules around the time and type of use permitted, and stick to them!

• Look into software that may limit their use online.

• Keep the computer in a public area of the house so you will be able to judge how much time is spent online

There are warning signs that may point to the fact that your child is heading towards danger of online addiction.   If you feel that these best describe your child, it will be time to reassess the entire family's online habits and alter them to support your decision to limit Internet time.

Some possible symptoms of Internet addiction:

• Physical pain such as headaches, sore eyes, carpal tunnel syndrome and backache

• Loss of sleep

• Is obviously happier when online

• Slipping grades at school

• Loss of interest in friends and family activities

• Drawn to the computer at all times of the day

If you feel that your child is beyond instilling rules and discussing the problems of overuse or Internet addiction, you may need to seek the help of a professional that deals with addiction.  Although Internet addiction is still a relatively new term, investigate your options in your community with agencies that deal with child addictions. It could be that your child’s potential Internet addiction is stemming from another psychological issue.

Finally, talk to your kids about your concerns.  The best way to keep your kids safe is to keep the lines of communication open, even in this new world of attention grabbing technology. 

Removing Internet Access Won't Protect Your Kids!

Although there are predators lurking around the Internet, it is very important for parents to remember that there are some fantastic benefits to having a world of knowledge, instantly at your fingertips.

The Internet has some great benefits – this blog and information sharing being two of them. However, as with anything, where there is good, there is bad. Internet safety has become one of the main concerns of parents around the world.

The Internet is here to stay. Although many parents would rather just remove all Internet access from their homes in hopes of keeping their kids safe – it is not the answer.

Kids have access to the Internet through game systems, friends, Internet cafes, libraries, schools and cell phones, so forget about the idea of avoidance. It won’t work.

Supervision with knowledge is the key to safety in cyberspace– parental knowledge that is.

Let’s start with the difference between the Internet and the World Wide Web. Although most people refer to the World Wide Web as the "Internet or Net" they are actually two different things.

The Internet was invented by the United States Department of Defense in 1969 for military use to assist in communication between bases.

The Internet refers to a worldwide network of interconnected computers. These computers all use a common code to talk to each other.

The World Wide Web (www) refers to all of the publicly available web sites and other information sources in the world such as newsgroups. The www was invented in 1989 by Tim Berners-Lee in Switzerland.

Most message boards and chat rooms are parts of websites that are shared over the Internet. There are currently over 43 Million registered web sites on the Internet.

So what does this have to do with your child’s safety? Everything.

Because the Internet is a network of interconnected computers, anyone, anywhere with access can potentially reach your child. Some with good intentions, others more deviant.

Understanding that there are risks both inside your home as well as outside should be the first step you take in increasing your child's online safety.

Does your child use the Internet outside of your home? Don’t know? Today is the day to ask. Find out where they are gaining access and what they are doing online when they are not home and under your supervision.

You may be surprised at what you learn……

Taking Inventory of your Knowledge: Internet Safety

Since today begins a two week long discussion about Internet Safety and Kids, let’s start by taking a quick inventory of your knowledge of cyberspace and what your kids may be doing while online.

Can you answer these questions?

Is the Internet and the World Wide Web the same thing?

Have you ever participated in an online newsgroup? Chat room? Message board?

Do you use MSN Instant Messenger?

Do you know what this means: "GTG POS"

What are the key warning signs that your child may be targeted by a predator?

Besides pedophiles, who else targets children online?

What is the URL for Canada’s online reporting centre?

Is it a crime to solicit a child online?

What are kids doing online besides MSN and chat?

How can you keep them safe when…….

45% of kids ages 11 – 15 arrange face to face meetings with online friends

One in five children ages 10 – 17 received sexual solicitation online

One in seventeen were threatened or harassed

Only 25% of these youth reported their fears to their parents.

I am hoping that these questions have raised some red flags, in that perhaps you may need to learn more about what your kids are facing in cyberspace.

You cannot protect your children online by simply putting the computer in the family room, or removing Internet access altogether. The Internet and the WWW is here to stay – it is up to us, the parents, to be as diligent about protecting our children from the net, as we are about drugs and violence.

Over the next two weeks, I will give you the answers to these questions, as well as open the discussion to you – the parents. If you have a specific question, comment or concern, please send it along.

It takes a community to keep kids safe.